Then Mario introduced himself. An older Hispanic man with a pronounced accent. He was all smiles and I was fully prepared to hate him, because that's what you do with people who are always so damn cheerful ... especially when they're in hell. But surprisingly I didn't hate Mario. He was cheerful for a good reason. He'd become my countdown clock.
"Afternoons go fast. It's 3pm. You'll soon be out of here."
I think I love Mario. Turns out ironically that Mario is a reverend. Huh, go figure. A reverend in hell. I always thought it would be those pedophiliac priests. How interesting that the one person I'd like in the place ... who actually seemed alive, would be a reverend. He even said 'God bless you' to me and I didn't shriek and rip his eyes out. Must be the ink in the air.
3:15pm. Mario says he only preaches in Spanish. Makes sense. I'd got to a Spanish church. The bible is much more fun when you don't understand the words. That way I can stay atheist while experiencing spirituality, without the bullshit.
3:20pm. Pocketsized Vin Diesel Willie is actually now beginning to look more like Michel from Gilmore Girls. The walk, the way he wears his jeans. Only with a Spanish accent rather than French.
"It's 3:30pm, almost done." Thanks Mario.
I've been watching this weird looking guy for the past half hour. He walks to something that I can't see, takes a big pole and pounds it in something [haha just got how that sounds] and lots of dust flies up in the air. Then he goes to this air pressure thing and blows himself off. [again with the nasty] What the hell is that all about?
3:35pm. It's amazing how many things you can think about in five minutes. I went through a whole list of stuff and looked at the clock thinking that twenty minutes had gone ... not so much.
3:50pm. Shit Andromeda's starting in ten minutes and I didn't even set the VCR. Oh wait it's a repeat nevermind.
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